Be productive - make an appointment with rest

Leisure activities, recreation or rest too often make way for other commitments. There are several reasons for this. One is that we have not committed to them in our own mind. For example, we hope to get an early night but if a film is on we sit there rather than hitting the record button on the video. Secondly, we can feel these are always ‘luxury’ uses of time and that everything else is always an ‘essential’. Thirdly, we perceive that other people do not see these activities as important and would so take offence if we use them as ‘excuses’ for not doing something. Finally, there can be a British belief the sky will fall if we ever say ‘no’.

Revise your way of thinking. Decide what your priorities really are and commit to them as appropriate. This will enable you to be more clear in your own mind what you intend to do and when. It is good to be flexible but work out in advance how ‘flexible’ you should be on each item in you diary (actual or mental) and when you need to stick to your plans. Where is there slack, what can be rescheduled or cut back on? What should you stick to.

Recuperation, rest, leisure, seeing your family – these are not luxuries. If you try living without enough sleep you will quickly find that sleep is no luxury – it is essential! Have a perspective on all that you do and see where it really is necessary to take a break or unwind. Is what you are doing instead a ‘necessity’? Imagine looking back in a year’s time. What will you then think you should have spent the time doing?

Once you have gone through this process you can start to see that what you now have are reasons for when you should not take on extra commitments or juggling the diary, not just excuses. You will also see more accurately where you do have flexibility. This will enable you to be more bold and decisive with the decision making. Often in our minds or when speaking to others we are apologetic about activities such as spending time with our friends. Sometimes we are little better when it comes to our family! Change the language you use in association with these in your head and when talking to others. Know when to see these ‘leisure’ times as commitments, responsibilities, or definite appointments. Forget the ‘I was hoping to…’ mentality. Say to yourself and to others ‘I need to…’, ‘I’ve committed to…’, ‘I’m booked to…’ or ‘I’ve promised to…’. It will make it easier for you to stick to your plans and for others to accept it.

When you have gone through this process you realise that you can say ‘no’. You start valuing your time appropriately and expect other people to do so. This doesn’t mean you have to be negative. Think of alternative ways of dealing with a situation when it arises. Don’t be afraid to delegate or, if you are being asked to do something, to suggest who else could get involved. Who else would like to be asked or who would benefit from the experience of doing it? You saying ‘no’ can open up an opportunity for someone else whether it is to go for a coffee with someone at work or to get involved in a project. Whenever something crops up most of us are wired in one of two ways – we always do it now or we always put it off. Don’t jump to either conclusion. Ask yourself when it would best be dealt with. Some jobs it is best to deal with promptly. Others should be left to a more appropriate time.

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