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Great Gifts
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Fitness Types
Whether you are in the gym or running around the park you are going to see other people taking their exercise for the day/week/month. Life can be more interesting if you know about the wildlife or history that lies around you. Likewise the routine of heading for to the gym or out for a run can be made more interesting by spotting the different types out there in their natural habitat. Some of the species mentioned below are more common than others but keep your eyes open, with time you will spot them all. Ants How to spot them: Ants are highly organised, know exactly what they are doing, are always full of energy and are not easily distracted. They are likely to be creatures of habit. Pros: They get the job done with minimum fuss and they are very reliable – great for a training partner. Cons: It might be nice for them to step off the gas and admire the view for a moment. They might benefit from more variety in what they do. Chameleons How to spot them: You may not have noticed these people. That is the point. They are regular folk quietly going about their business. No outrageous gym wear or attention seeking behaviour. They are the types who head out for morning runs before anyone is about and don’t mention their exercise routine. Pros: They do not get distracted from what they are doing. You are not going to get a long speech from them about the latest greatest thing they have done. They are not going to scorn your limited ability on the weight machines. Cons: They would benefit from a bit more social interaction. There are probably more regular guys/girls who would be happy to talk to them/train with them than they realise. Cockerel How to spot them: These blokes look like cockerels – their upper-body is far more developed than their legs due to the fact they spend all their time training their mirror muscles (those muscles they look at in the mirror). They strut around a lot, on rare occasions you see them running or doing CV work they even seem to do this with a strut. They spend a lot of time looking at the fairer sex, they grunt loudly when they lift weights, and are most likely to wear a muscle vest and brightly coloured ‘sweatpants’ (which, to them, are not the same as tracksuit bottoms). Pros: Ermmm. Well, they do train hard and consistently. Cons: Don’t be female and within staring distance. Their fitness is all about developing their ‘mirror muscles’ which is not the same as being genuinely healthy. Crocodiles How to spot them: Crocodiles can unleash a hugely aggressive powerful attack – but they cannot maintain this speed and after the burst they need to rest up for a long period. They train like an animal every day for a while before suffering, getting ill or injured and having to rest for a few weeks. Then they start all over again. Pros: They’re enthusiastic. Cons: They don’t learn from previous mistakes. They are likely to say, “I used to manage…every day so I’m getting back into that.” But they forget that is why they got ill or injured last time. A more steady approach rather than the ferocious initial attack followed by enforced inactivity would serve them better. Gym mongrels How to spot them: They’re always sniffing around. They are likely to appear on gym equipment/an exercise mat/running in the park near someone they’re looking to impress/befriend. Never quite pick of the bunch in terms of sports kit or personal hygiene either. Pros: A bit of attention is good for anyone’s ego. You can never have too many friends. Cons: There are some kinds of attention you don’t want. A monologue on their in-growing toenail is not the way to start a friendship. Hamsters How to spot them: You can see them on their treadmills. Always at it – they’re there all the time and don’t seem to get off. They do the same as usual and are wearing the same as usual. Pros: They do a lot of exercise. They’re harmless. Seeing them at the gym/running down the street gives a feeling of familiarity/comfort. Cons: It would be good for them to change their routine or set a different goal. They don’t need to be quite as timid about things and could broaden their horizons and exercise routine. Hens How to spot them: They’re the female equivalent of a cockerel. Likely to be wearing little more than heavy doses of perfume. Often seen doing inappropriate stretching that shows their high level of flexibility close to a quivering bloke. They work very hard to keep ‘their figure’ - and to make sure people notice. Pros: It keeps the guys going to the gym. Cons: Even at the height of summer some of those outfits make you feel cold. More seriously it could be that their overall lifestyle in terms of the amount they eat (or don’t eat) and inadequate recovery between what can be excessive training sessions can take a toll on their health. It is not just about cosmetics. They are also surprisingly likely to smoke for those so dedicated to the gym. Lemmings How to spot them: They’ll follow what someone else does - even if that is to run off the edge of a cliff. They often take advice on training/fashion from the cockerel/hen types without realising there are more informed people around. Sometimes they are a wannabe cockerel/hen, often they just don’t know any better. Pros: Sorry, not any we can think of. We don’t like seeing people suffer in this way. Cons: It usually ends in tears as they follow a flawed training routine. Lions/gazelles How to spot them: It’s all about this proverb: "Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must move faster than the lion or it will not survive. Every morning a lion wakes up and it knows it must move faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve. It doesn't matter if you are the lion or the gazelle, when the sun comes up, you had better be ready to move." For them staying healthy is a natural and necessary part of life. Some may look more like lions, others like gazelles but either way they are in shape. Pros: They don’t see exercise as a burden bear. They are at home in the exercising environment. They usually have a fairly holistic attitude to health including their diet, rest and recreation. Cons: They find it hard to relate to people who see exercising, eating healthily etc a struggle. Sometimes they lack a specific goal. Mayfly How to spot them: You have to be quick. They appear briefly at the gym or running in the park, but like a mayfly the lifespan of their fitness routine is very short. Pros: They add to the Get Fit For New Year sign-ups at the gym. Cons: They lack the goal setting and routine necessary for a sustained fitness programme. Mice How to spot them: These are timid types. They never look sure of what they are doing and often lack the confidence to ask someone. May wear oversized and loose clothes due to a lack of body confidence. Pros: These are in the nicer category of folks you meet. Cons: They are likely to underachieve with their training for lack of asking and reassurance. Mules How to spot them: They are doing it their way and they have been ‘since you were in short trousers my boy’. Stubborn in their routine. Likely to recommend you should do it their way. Likely to be wearing the same kit as they were when they first started training in 1976. Those bun hugging shorts are looking a bit thread bare now though. Pros: They remind you to call your dad. Cons: They need their routine freshening up. They often don’t know as much as they think. You don’t want to get cornered by them. Vulture How to spot them: These are, perhaps, mules with attitude. They hover around looking like they need to get on the equipment you are on, are likely to criticise what you are doing, the way you run, your choice of training shoe, even your haircut, and suggest you need to join Bonkersville Running Club. They may claim to be a former Olympic athlete/coach – you suspect it was in some totalitarian state of 1970s Eastern Europe. Pros: It takes all sorts. Cons: For one so wise they seem to talk such tripe. How to get the most out of your training - Avoid getting cornered on your own by some of the less desirables, or at least have back-up. Get a training partner. - Make sure you have an organised but varied training routine. Get a good training schedule. - Be sure to wear appropriate kit. It should be designed for the job but also make you look and feel like the part . - Be properly fuelled. A good diet and hydration is a must. Energy drinks and nutrition supplements may help. - Have a goal. Have a specific target to aim for. Once you have achieved it take a bit of down time then choose your next goal. You may want to aim for a variety of targets to give variety to your training.
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